Author: dudeingp

“And when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. What do you call it, Freedom or Loneliness?”

-Charles Bukowski

At any given moment, people are fighting inner demons, fighting with others inner demons or just plain trying to get by with the best they know and have.

To be kind is to be strong. Not kind in a “simping” manner which is so popular nowadays, but in a respectful manner.

Because people are dealing with so many things that we cannot immediately see, does not mean we have to take offense personally or professionally. Sometimes you need to conserve energy, turn the other cheek and move forward.

Benignitas,

As we travel into the unknown we only know a few things one of which is freedom is not free. Freedom is at best a loan that requires interest to be paid daily.

Secondly is the realization that we deserve nothing do not deserve anything given to us we only deserve What discipline allows us to do

What happens when you change from who you once were? Do you keep that part of you, or wash it away? Do you integrate it to whom you are, or chose a different path?

Staying with it one day further than the rest is usually what it takes to succeed.

One day further than the rest, keep going

Are you a sheep? Are you a sheep dog? Are you a wolf? I used to be a sheep who thought he was a sheep dog and finally once I got close to being a sheepdog, I realized that’s not who I am. While the sheepdog protects the sheep, the sheepdog also is a loner, a entity who waits and obeys commands from the master. An entity who waits to be fed.

I’m neither sheep nor sheepdog. That only leaves the Wolf, which I do not belong to a pack, nor am I hunter. So what does that leave? Right now I’m a man on a mountaintop observing, preparing

Finding new challenges sometimes can be difficult. It’s a fine balance of the realistic and unrealistic.

So what to pursue? That all depends on what your interests are and how you want to develop yourself.

For me, i spent from the fall of 2015 to July 2021 in a nightmarish hell from working with the wrong organizations for the wrong reasons. Found out alot about myself during that time.

The Mid Stream group starting with a “P” is a nightmare unto itself. I had thought life was difficult when i started working with them – was i ever wrong. 40hr salaried position turned into starting work at 4am and working consistently until 4pm – 6pm, 5days a week, and on call on the weekends – every weekend. My health suffered, my mental health suffered and all i got out of it was a 1hr life coaching session and a stab in the back from my supervisor. So very glad i left.

When i left, i had no plan, no determination how i was going to provide for my family. I simply stepped into the breach and prayed.

Three days later after i resigned, i hadn’t reached out to any companies for work. One company (starting with a “A”) called me up and wanted me to support them for some ad hoc work they had. I am so very glad i said yes, have been with them for 10months now and it’s been an adventure.

I went and obtained my Rope Access ticket and joined a very eclectic community of climbers that welcomed me with open arms.

So here i am, doing inspection projects and rope access inspections and being incredibly grateful of those who found me. Hoping this lasts.

You think that sometimes holding on 5mins more than everyone else has it’s benefits. Unfortunately sometimes it bites you on the ass.

Life advice? Don’t stick around with people that are not there to support you. Be grateful for those who do, for they are few and far between. Stick with people who support your path, your shugyo. More importantly – honor your path.

Wow, long time no update……

Waited until Christmas 2019 to catch my breath from this job. Took some paid time off, which was very nice and went back to work in Jan.

Got quite a few offers to work elsewhere in Dec and Jan/Feb, but something didn’t feel right about taking them, even though the job was consuming more and more of my life. Well made the right choice financially as Covid wiped out all my other options. Work wise, my work load doubled as support evaporated as the company started eliminating personnel or people left for personal reasons and were not replaced.

Work got way busier and more piled on me as i had to write, research and ultimately defer work until 2021, only to have to start replanning it once i deferred it. Add in projects that very little support was given and well, quite a recipe for disaster. Which it did yesterday.

I will say though as a compliment to the company, their Covid protocols are second to none. Although the lead up to action was very slow, but that can be said of most everyone’s response as denial turned to belief

Time to start looking again……sigh.

Says it all. The days you feel at your worst, just hang in 5 more minutes, 5 more than everyone else.